“I read obituaries first thing in the morning. With a cup of coffee. This is NOT MORBID. Just epic. Maybe it's a way of trying to figure out, before the day begins, what is important.” - Maira Kalman
I’m Mary!
I’ve loved obituaries for a long time.
I’ve collected stacks of obituaries for decades: ones that made me laugh, ones that felt achingly bittersweet, ones that had a bit of mystery to them, and ones that guided me a little bit in how I approach my own life.
I always suspected I’d want to do something with them; I just didn’t know exactly what that would be.
I made Tips From Dead People for kicks. I didn’t expect it to change my life.
But it has.
I’m so glad you’re here!
Too often, information about death and obituaries is delivered in a way that is dry and underwhelming and doesn’t get to the heart of why our people mattered.
Or why they frustrated us.
Or why they had the best terrible jokes.
Or why they had a bad experience with ghost peppers and urination (that was in an obituary I read and I gasped with delight).
It’s depressing when obituaries turn out like sterile resumes, because everyone (no exceptions) has a list of fascinating little things about them. And the choices that other people make, be they good, bad, or ridiculously out there, let us hold up a mirror to our own lives.
I can’t really explain WHY Tips from Dead People has resonated with so many people. But it could be that in a world that’s so fractured and political and stressful, it seems that a good story well told is still a great unifier. And that when we’re feeling bewildered about our next steps in life, it helps to hear about the dirt roads that other people went down. And that the quest for trophies and other big things ends up NOT being what matters most.
The tips I’ve gotten from these obituaries relate to grit, optimism, next chapters, redemption arcs, burn-it-the-ground narratives, seeing people who are different from us, finding or not finding a passion, and most importantly, why the little things in life are the big things.
One of the best and most unexpected parts of the TFDP journey has been the incredible conversations I’ve had with journalists and podcasters and radio hosts and so many others about the gorgeous irony of getting life hacks from obituaries.
https://www.tiktok.com/@tipsfromdeadpeople/video/7287400354948320543
https://www.tiktok.com/@tipsfromdeadpeople/video/7301142193119513898
https://www.tiktok.com/@tipsfromdeadpeople/video/7345280329487273247
<aside> <img src="https://img.freepik.com/premium-vector/tik-tok-logo_578229-290.jpg" alt="https://img.freepik.com/premium-vector/tik-tok-logo_578229-290.jpg" width="40px" /> TikTok
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" 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" width="40px" /> Instagram
</aside>
<aside> <img src="https://images.rawpixel.com/image_png_800/czNmcy1wcml2YXRlL3Jhd3BpeGVsX2ltYWdlcy93ZWJzaXRlX2NvbnRlbnQvbHIvdjk4Mi1kNS0xMF8xLnBuZw.png" alt="https://images.rawpixel.com/image_png_800/czNmcy1wcml2YXRlL3Jhd3BpeGVsX2ltYWdlcy93ZWJzaXRlX2NvbnRlbnQvbHIvdjk4Mi1kNS0xMF8xLnBuZw.png" width="40px" /> LinkedIn
</aside>
